Jun 08
What Is Personal Dating Assistant Anyway?
There’s an interesting article about dating assistance posted on TechCrunch a few days ago (just to take your minds off the story for something refreshing). It talks about virtual dating assistance where the dating services of “busy guys” gets outsourced. Of course, I’d be more than happy to hear your thoughts on this, and while you contemplate your response to this topic here’s another little story.
A friend of mine who has some nice people skills was working part-time as a dating assistant couple of years ago. Her part was to scout dating web sites for candidates that would fit her client’s requirements and contact them on behalf of the client to arrange a meeting. Now, so far this sounds just short of pimping – while it’s not. A simple code of ethics had actually increased her success rate – I ran statistics for her and it turns out she got up to a bit over 80% from just below 60%.
The rules were simple:
- no last names – if her client and his date decide so, they’ll exchange it, if not – then not, but she’s not disclosing neither’s personal details beyond the point of what’s neccessary to arrange the meeting
- a picture is worth a thousand words – if her contact didn’t have a dating profile picture and hadn’t sent her one, then meeting a no-go. If you’re not up to putting your decent picture into profile, then it’s not worth spending time on meeting you – plain and simple.
- she’s assistant – not personal counselor. Some ladies thought that by sucking up to her they could win some big guy and his money. Since my friend was getting a fixed rate she wasn’t interested in setting up some deals, and she was up-front about that.
- she’s assistant – if you’re interested, then you will meet the gentleman personally. She wasn’t attempting to pretend that she is her client. First of all – because it’s not ethical. Also, because it’s simply not that easy and anyone really paying attention would really be able to spot the scam. Since the whole thing was run mostly on reputation (as almost any other decent business) – the consequences could be just tragical.
- Look decent, act decent, be decent – if you plan to show up in miniskirt that ends a little earlier then legs start, or if you’re going to unleash your naughty self on the first date – then you are a wrong candidate. She had no problem with people wanting to have fun, it’s just wasn’t the goal of the job (for those who keep track – that’s the major distinction from pimping). All this was done in order to assist people in finding a person for long-lasting successful relationship, not a one-night stand.
There were a few others, but they pertained to specific demographic, so I am skipping all that. As you can see, there was nothing wrong with personal dating assistance. At times, when my friend was asking me for some advice, it felt more like recruiting a right candidate for a job rather than getting a date. Apparently, most of the candidates felt the same way, because the gig turned to be a major success.
Popularity: 33% [?]
June 9th, 2009 at 11:21 pm
There is already enough spammers and scammers on dating sites as it is. What do you think a date would say if they found out they ended up there without having talked to their date in the first place?
June 9th, 2009 at 11:38 pm
Barrett,
if you’d have took more then 15 seconds to read through the post before spamming it with your link and your comment you’d have noticed that the whole point of it is to highlight the fact that it was neither a shadow operation nor my friend disguised herself as her clients. Quite opposite, in fact, is true. Thanks for being a perfect example of what you’re wrote about though, we had a good laugh
June 10th, 2009 at 12:56 am
Your first paragraph points out exactly what I was commenting on DD-Guy, the rest of the post also brings up the same issue. And I’ll quote “contact them on behalf of the client to arrange a meeting”, sure sounds like the two people actually going on the date haven’t spoken yet. Also, you asked for thoughts on the first paragraph as well “I’d be more than happy to hear your thoughts on this”
Back to your story though, even though the business your friend works for may be legit the client could still be shady. If the client is too busy to go out and look for someone on their own before meeting them how easy is it to believe they are looking for a solid relationship. You no doubt heard about the respectable student that recently killed a girl in Boston. By never speaking with someone directly you are even farther from the truth of the person you are going to a date with. Background checks don’t clear everyone either so that isn’t a fool proof option. So if a professional guy who claims to be to busy to use the sites and pays your friend to represent him, she doesn’t actually know him personally either so she can’t adequately represent his character. This whole thing can setup some very unsafe situations for any woman to go into.
June 10th, 2009 at 8:25 am
Now you’re talking! Thanks for elaboration, I appreciate it.
See, the situation that you are reading about is only as bad as you want to imagine. There is always some risk involved in dating and I do, of course, understand the concern and so did clients of my friend. That’s why the code of conduct that I was talking about was set up – precisely for that specific reason – to make sure everyone is on the same page. Besides, weather guys like it or not, the final decision in 90% of dates is made based on personal impression, not what the guy is saying on the dating site. Just off the top of my memory I can recall a story of one of my female friends who were successfully communicating with a gentleman on a dating site, who sounded generous, caring and open hearted – only to find out he’s an ex-criminal who were pulling one of the well-known jail pranks on her.