Mar 30 2009

Christmas Story – A Second Date

Posted in: Dating,Memoirs  |  Tags: , , , , , ,  Written by DD-Guy @ 7:20 pm

Christmas Story - A Second Date - Dont Date Guy Blog (This is part 3. Click here for Part 2 or here for Part 1)

Next day (I was told it was Tuesday, since this couple had their first date on Monday, no less) brought some sort of sobering to the guy. The more he thought about last night date the more he realized that it was too good to be true indeed. He was, however, going to call that girl anyway – at around 1pm, lunch time, – just to make sure he shouldn’t be making any more plans about that fabulous chick. This lasted until about 11:55 am when his phone rang (vibrated, actually) and – there she was.

She didn’t forget to thank him for the date first. Then, immediately after that she started telling him about how important it is to trust a person you’re getting involved with, then something about forces of nature and so on. From 45 minutes of talking he only had a chance to speak for about 45 seconds. He was, however, kind of impressed by how passionately the girl was talking about it. If nothing else, it felt like she went through a lot and is just trying to make sure she won’t have to go through it again. They had a pleasant chit-chat saying good-byes though. Each promised to call each other tomorrow.

Next day, she got to call him first – again! He started suspecting something, but she charged ahead with the question is he a good cameraman and if he owns a video camera. He responded that he knows they exist, but he’s trying to familiarize himself with photo equipment first. She said it’s a damn shame, she wanted to shoot a porn movie tonight and they didn’t have a camera man. She suggested putting a few feathers in various places to play cowboys and Indians under the blankets, to spice up things.

When laughter ended, she said she obviously called to check if he has a sense of humor. He promised to show her the size of it on a third date if she has any plans for a second one. She replied that she just might. They talked about something else for about an hour (I wasn’t really taking notes when the guy described – word for word – what they did talk about), and ended up setting a second date up on Thursday night. Tentatively, so far, to be confirmed tomorrow.

Tomorrow came, the date got confirmed. He was to pick her up at about 11pm to go to some club. Now, to side step the story a little, I have to tell you that this guy has never been to a club – ever! So when he subscribed to go – he just hadn’t had any idea what he was getting himself into. Plain and simple – he was flying right into the eye of a disaster. But he went all in and said yes to that. On the other hand – I would also be very very hesitant to say no to someone with 36 DDD bra and 25 inch waistline.

Around 9pm it suddenly occured to him that it would be nice to grab a flower bouquet and something extra. Sure, she would only see it for about a minute or two before leaving, but! He messes up something at the club, she gets home upset, sees the flowers and fruits and (maybe) forgives him. Or so the thought goes. He went to a store nearby, bought some flowers and composed a bouquet himself – yellow and peach roses, green leaves, nice and simple. He also grabbed a few bags of fruits – peaches, apples, tangerines.

11:05pm he calls – she doesn’t pick up the phone. In fact – calls went straight to voicemail, which meant the phone is turned off! 11:15pm – phone is still off. 11:30pm – off. 11:55pm – off. 12:20am – off. 12:42am – she calls him! Not even knowing what to think now, he tells her very dryly that he needs to drop off something to her and be gone, as there will be obviously no date today. He drives to her house, brings her flowers and fruits (less a few apples he chewed on while calling her) and trying to leave. She comes up with story that her close friend had died a week ago and they only told her this evening, she cried and fell asleep only to wake up at 12:30am and realized she stood him up. Not believing a single word she said he gives her a chance to make it up tomorrow. She says she’ll be more than happy to, because she feels bad. After another 45 minutes or so talking and gentle hugging they’ve parted.

(To be continued)


Dec 15 2008

Christmas Story – The Day They’ve Met

Posted in: Dating,Memoirs  |  Tags: , , , , , ,  Written by DD-Guy @ 3:28 pm

Christmas Story - Romantic Evening - Dating Advice Blog (This is part 2. Click here for Part 1)

She called him that same day, June 19th. They spent about an hour talking on the phone, exchanging pleasantries and growing interest in each other carefully. Each sensed something familiar, but couldn’t quite figure out what it was.

As it turned out – both were Gemini, only 4 years apart. Both liked to fool around as madmen, but both were working since out of school, so it wasn’t like they had an easy living on their parent’s nickel. They have set on a date – right next day – both agreeing that better off meeting as soon as possible and see whether it will work out. Why waste time on pointless bickering if they both know what they want and just need a chance to see if the other party was right – or not.

When she showed up from her apartment, freshly made up and dressed up and glowing with confidence he realized he doesn’t know any good restaurants he can take her to. Anything he knew wasn’t upscale enough to take such a glamorous girl to. It would be painfully, obviously out of place. However, since she, nevertheless, hopped into the car he decided to go with Plan B.

What’s a plan B you asked? So did I. Turns out Plan B is when you don’t take your date to the most expensive restaurant you know. Basically, it is an unspoken rule that the better looking girl you take on a date, the better (and more expensive) restaurant you take her to. However, chances always are that girl will be so beautiful that there will be no such restaurant that you know of. Or can afford. Either way – you drop to Plan B.

So where to did he took her then? To the small pastry cafe, where everything (but the food) sucks – service, waiters, even prices. What’s the reason? Playing on the contrast.

Turned out the decision was a major success. They weren’t bothered by the service or having to mind their manners all the time and were able to relax. Coffee, tea and couple of biscuits were more than enough food for two non-stop talking Geminis.

The date lasted for three and half hours (instead of 45 minutes he thought it would). They were flirting before they even knew it. She asked a waiter for fruit salad. Waiter said that the only fruits they had was strawberries with whipped cream. Waving her huge eyelashes at both her date and a waiter she said that strawberries and whipped cream aren’t exactly the first date meal, but she knows, however, that one can lead to another. Waiter, totally red (shifting into infra-red already), left hastily.

When she excused herself to the restroom, he looked around and realized there were quite a few spectators that have abandoned their own dates as they watched for the outcome of our couple’s date. Girls were checking the guy out weighting the chance to approach him while the girl was away. Guys started lining up closer to the restroom exit with hopes to get a closer look at the girl. With slim waistline and DDD-size bra cup filled with 100% natural contents she was an eye candy for anyone.

But as every other date, this one had to end. He took her home, putting on couple of finishing touches, like saying he enjoyed the date, gently tapping her wrist while saying he doesn’t feel like letting her go. They parted wishing each other a good night. He promised himself not to forget to call her tomorrow since she looked almost too good to be true and anyway too good a chance to miss.


Jan 24 2008

Whoa, that was close!

Posted in: Procrastination  |  Tags: , , , , , , ,  Written by DD-Guy @ 2:00 am

Fat, Naked, Dangerous - DontDateGuy.com blogSorry guys, our web site just went down for almost half-hour. Looks like we haven’t allocated enough bandwidth for it, so the server has notified our good friends at Zealus Web Design that we have overstayed our welcome. Thanks to same good friends at Zealus – they persuaded the server to give us some more time!

On a same note, I’d like to make a little announcement. While we will continue to impress you with dating advice you can’t find anywhere else, we still need to make a couple of green paper presidents to maintain status quo. While I am NOT asking you to click on the only two advertising banners we have (see how good we are – we know you hate those ads), I would go ahead and give you something. That’s right, instead of asking – we are giving!

Within week we will post a donation button for this web site. Anyone donated any amount (no matter how large or small) will receive a copy of Dating Advice – 9 Dating Basics. That’s right, we’ve got four more chapters to this never-ending story all packed and ready to go.

Those of you who are, thanks to oncoming Valentine’s Day, short of money will not be left out! You will be able to receive a complementary (that means – FREE!) version of same eBook, called Dating Advice – 7 Dating Basics. Hey, we needed to give the paying folks something extra, right?

Think that’s all? You ain’t seen nothing yet! For specially generous donation (somewhere around $50 and up, depending on how generous you all are) we will review your personal photo for you! What the heck does this mean? Let me elaborate.

Valentine’s Day, while hyped as the most romantic holiday ever, is actually the worst! Most couples break up either on Valentine’s Day or right after (have you ever though that Valentine’s Day abbreviates to a VD, which means quite opposite?) And break ups occur because we, guys, give them, girls, lousy presents. By the way, stay tuned for a special section on our blog about gifts and presents – just in time for holidays.

So what’s the story with photo? Oh, that’s simple. You send us that special picture that you plan to use on the dating web site or in that e-mail to a girl you are tryiing to get. We review it and tell you why it suck (or what could be improved). Best submissions will be (with your permission, of course) featured on this web site. Oh, and don’t try to be funny! Our local cops told me they can establish identity by picture of almost any human organ, so keep that organ for a real deal. Be a man, don’t act like a kid.

SPECIAL PROMOTION for LADIES ONLY! We will review your picture absolutely free. But that’s not all. On the recent dating spree I personally befriended a very beautiful and oh-so professional make-up artist. If you be kind (and we know you will be – I can’t disappoint this girl on Valentine’s Day, right?) she will share tips and advice as to how to present yourself better, fix your make-up mistakes and give you personalized dating advice.

Wrapping up – stay tuned, get your hair and nails done (guys, you too!), and prepare to send in your pictures. We’re up for a lot of fun this year, we just have to share it all!