Feb 06 2010

I Don’t Want Nothing Serious – Why Is She Telling You Just The Opposite Of What She Thinks

Posted in: Dating  |  Tags: , ,  Written by DD-Guy @ 1:00 pm

You are sitting comfortably on a date with the girl you like more and more every minute. You get to that point of conversation where you’re about to share what you want to do with your life in the next ten to twenty years. You, the brave man, venture ahead and boldly say that you want yourself some family, some kids, some stability. In her turn she’s telling you that she doesn’t want anything serious. You sit there a bit disappointed and crushed – after all you kind of liked her and you thought this just might get serious enough…

Here’s where you got to stop. There are few things that may have happened, so be a man and DON’T rush to conclusions immediately. After all, a little thought goes a long way.

1. She is playing you. That is, of course, the most obvious explanation. Basically she waits for you to say “Yeah, I have never believed in that serious relationship thing anyway”. Once you’ve said that – and unless she’s really that kind of the game – you’re done for.

2. She is teasing you. While this means something similar to the previous one, but still different. If she really likes you and your perception of seriousness, she may throw in some fun by saying she doesn’t care. That is, of course, if she’s aware that you have shown to have a sense of humor.

3. She is serious. That’s the biggest disappointment, I know, but yet there are still a couple of chances where you can improve the situation. Yes, she may not be interested in a serious dating – for now. Maybe she’s still recovering from the previous botched relationship. Maybe she just hasn’t met the right guy for so long she got too cynical about it. Or maybe she’s just saying it out loud so that it would turn out not true.

In either case – she’s not saying what she thinks. What you really want to do is figure out what does she hide behind those words. It’s a little dating game and you absolutely must play it – unless you want to bail out right there and then.

First thing you should do is t0 take a deep breath before you say anything else. Think the response through, as that may be an end to the date or a beginning of a beautiful relationship. Then you would want to say is something like: “Sure, I respect your view on this, so why don’t we take things slow and see where this will lead us to“. Now the important this is NOT TO SAY ANYTHING ELSE. If you blurt something like “and then maybe you will reconsider and marry me”, especially on a first or a second date – you’re in a bad shape. Just let it hang in there, because it’s a proposition to leave things going the way they were before. If she’s happy with it – she will agree to it. If she’s not – you don’t need to waste your time and energy on her anymore. In either case you’ll end up knowing more about where your relationship is going and that’s a good thing.


Dec 14 2009

9 Reasons Not To Date Her – No Matter How Hot She Is

Posted in: Dating  |  Tags: ,  Written by DD-Guy @ 11:53 am

There are one solid reason why you should date any woman you like and that is – you are straight, you like her, you want her. That’s well and understood. However, there are a few reasons why you should NOT date that girl, and I urge you to read through carefully and consider your options.

1. There is a feature or two that you like, but overall she’s not your cup of tea. DON’T DO IT. Those features get easily lost in a day to day life. Trust  me, you are going to annoy each other to hell and back, so if you don’t absolutely love everything about that person – don’t date her.

2. She’s a gold digger. This should be a no-brainer, but some guys do indeed loose their brains somewhere around their ass. Unless you print money in your basement, no matter how much you are making there will never be enough. True, you are making money so that most of it would be spend on girls or by girls, but please be a man, not an ATM.

3. She has a busy social life. Everyone needs to party from time to time, there is nothing wrong with that. But if whenever you call her, you find her partying it means that either you don’t call too often or she parties too much. Do you want to date a girl who’s only objective in life is to go to as many parties as possible?

4. She has busy family life. No doubt about it, if she helps her older parents that deserves a highest respect. However, if taking her out on a date becomes a problem because she needs to do this and that around the house or needs to run errands for her cousin – maybe you should be looking for a date elsewhere.

5. She is a busy working bee. Career is important, building it is hard. Some people do indeed work 24×7, but it doesn’t mean you don’t get to enjoy personal life. We are not talking about ideal balance, but balance is what you should be looking for. If she pays more attention to her Blackberry than to anything you had to say throughout the whole evening – wish her good luck and search again.

6. She has those “special” friends. It doesn’t mean you have to strip her of her friendships with other people, not at all. But again, there has to be some balance between what she does and with whom. When you are just starting – there isn’t much you could or should do about that, but when your relationship is already well underway special friends (who take priority over you) aren’t a good sign. You will just have to figure it out if they are rooting against you or if you have good relationships with them too, as they may have their own agenda: for all you know they may be working hard not to lose their benefits.

7. She has substance issues. You are not going to believe it, but there is a big number of people who actually think they can save someone by having a relationship with that person. Once in a blue moon it may help – and that is when you might read it all over the news. Here’s an example that I think perfectly illustrates it. Imagine you are standing on a table, near the edge. Imagine another person (who you are trying to save and bring to your level) is standing next to you on the floor. How hard would it be to pull that person up onto the table? How hard would it be for that person to bring you down? See what I mean?

8. She is a known cheater. Sorry, no matter how many times she is saying that she loves you, if she is not happy with something – she will cheat again and again. If you plan on having an open relationship – that’s fine, but if you want to have a foundation for a family – I doubt this will be acceptable.

9. She has attention issues. This is sort of two-in one point, so bear with me. If she thinks she doesn’t get enough attention from you and other people – she will go to great lengths to attract it. Dressing provocatively and following up on such provocations is the bare minimum of what you should expect. Alternatively, if she does not give you enough attention (whatever the reasons are), it usually means that on her scale of importance of things, you are somewhere between her pet and a mail man. Of course, you know all the stories about the mail man, but have you seen any of them ending with “they lived happily ever after“?


Dec 09 2009

Dating Advice For Girls: What Do Guys See On A Date

Posted in: Dating  |  Tags: , , , ,  Written by DD-Guy @ 1:22 am

923985_young_woman Just recently I had a very interesting conversation with one young single lady. Her problem, as she described it, was that she kept picking wrong guys for herself. When I asked her with a question – why does it happen all the time, she said that good guys don’t want her, so she ends up with bad ones. So what do we, guys, essentially see in a woman on a date?

  1. We see your body. Especially on a first date – this is the first thing we are paying attention to. Some like curves, some like slim shape, it doesn’t matter. What matters is – we look at how good you look. If you think you can impress us with your smarts and wits – be smart enough to shape up, dress up and put on your make up.
  2. We see woman’s body language. We may not be able to read all the signs or read through, but if your eyes are drifting away all the time – we can spot it. If a woman is constantly checking her phone (or worse yet – her Blackberry) – we take note.
  3. We see how other guys are looking at you. If no one is impressed – we don’t want it. Believe it or not – we do value peer review. So if other guys are looking at us with envy, or not even looking at us because they look at you – we made the right choice.
  4. We pay attention to what you are saying. Men mostly are straightforward. If woman says she’d like pizza – we go and get some pizza for her and for us. Or take her to such place. We don’t see this as yet another puzzle that, when solved, should reveal the desire to be taken on a long night walk at the beach with some champagne, flowers and poems under the Moon. Really, you said pizza, didn’t you?
  5. We pay attention to the difference between that picture in your dating profile and the real thing that just landed in the chair across from us. If the difference is too significant – we will run away. The more the difference the faster the speed. Want to manipulate men? Here’s your chance.
  6. We see a desperate woman when she is desperate. Everyone hits a rough patch once in a while, the idea is not to lose control over yourself because of that. If you seem desperate – we see you as an easy target. Some may take advantage of that, but most men will likely pass you by. We are hunters, if prey falls from the sky into our hands – where’s the excitement? We move on immediately. If we feed on a healthy prey – we get better at hunting. Those who pick you up after us are scavengers. You don’t want them.
  7. We understand that nobody is perfect. We may turn the blind eye to some of the shortcomings, but if there are too many – we can’t. Neither can you. As I have said – no one is perfect, no matter what your mom told you.
  8. We don’t like to rush things, so we immediately see when women do. Picking up a good name for baby is good for 3rd month of pregnancy, not 3rd month of dating. Of course most women want marriage, children and the whole thing. But rushing us into it may just make us do the opposite. At one time there was a popular story when after a one-night stand guy wakes up with a girl next to him in his bed. And the first thing he hears is “and in that corner we will put baby’s cradle”.
  9. Last, but not least. We see how you react to our faults. If a guy dropped a fork on the floor, or spilled wine on the table and all he hears is how clumsy he is – chances are that this is his last date with you. You can call him gazillion times – he will not go out with you again. He doesn’t need another mom telling him how to do simple things.

Nov 06 2009

Friday Advisory – How To Succeed On Dating Web Sites

Posted in: Dating  |  Tags: , , ,  Written by DD-Guy @ 1:36 pm

Aside from all the seriousness that you approach dating with, sometimes you need to relax, take a step back, look at the whole thing and smile. So, without further ado here’s your Friday Advice – How To Succeed On Dating Web Sites.

1. Undress to your underwear (well, if you’re home, most likely you already are) and look in the mirror. If what you see ain’t Brad Pitt, Hugh Jackman or at least Daniel Craig – admit it that there will be girls who simply not going to like you. It ain’t exactly the end of the world, after all, you also don’t like warm beer or oatmeal cookies.

2. Take a few pictures of yourself. Don’t take pictures of you with your car, it’s like saying “Here’s where I have spent all my money for”. Don’t take pictures with someone else’s expensive car either – it would be like saying “Here’s where I would’ve put my money if I had them”, which is even worse. Make sure that none of your body parts isn’t significantly larger than the rest (yep, I am talking about that beer belly).

3. Put up your pictures in your dating profile. Also, it might make sense to fill your profile on a dating web site with information about yourself. Please, DO NOT specify the size of your male organ – no one would believe it anyway, and you really don’t want to date those stupid ones that would.

4. In case you actually have a sense of humor – don’t hide it, but tread carefully. I’ve seen cases when just two statements (Looking for long-term relationship and Looking for partners for orgy) have caused severe brain malfunction for at least one of the girls on dating web site, so she closed her profile and vanished in the great unknown.

5. If you picked a “romantic poet that is young at heart” type of image – it might work, of course, but those who would be interested in such image are usually either those skinny hairy girls who neglect the shower or really interested in the poetry too much that by the time you get to a real deal you’d be retired. But if it is your choice nonetheless, please choose faster, so you would stop stealing attention from real guys.

6. If a girl, in response to your first two sentences says you’re funny – she’s actually laughing at you.

7. If she’s too eager to embrace you from the get go – that’s a trap.

8. If she’s there once in a blue moon – she has a boyfriend (or husband, or a child) and just likes to mess around with people’s heads once in a while.

9. If she’s online from 9 to 5 – she’s definitely married, just bored at work.

10. If she’s online every single evening from 6 to 10 – you would have a hard time taking her out for a date, because while she’ll be wasting her time on you someone out there might snatch the guy that’s just right for her. And you know she just can’t let that happen!

11. If she’s online only from midnight to 3 or 4 am – she’s definitely from another country.

12. The most horrible thing is that you see her online on Friday or Saturday night. That means that whoever she’s dating had found something better. Do you need some other guy’s rejects?

13. If she wrote that your dating profile stole her heart this usually means there was no heart there in a first place.

14. If, after couple of meaningless exchanges she sends you a link to some other site – it’s a spamming robot. You don’t want it.

15. If the only picture she has in her profile was taken 15 years ago on a cell phone camera this means even she understands the ugly truth.

16. If the picture looks too good to be true – it probably is. If you suspect that the picture is done a bit too professionally, chances are that this is a professional bride.

17. If she has too many pictures with different men – maybe you’re in luck. Chances are all those guys are her friends but none of them are good enough for her, so that’s where you move in.

18. If her dating profile has a bunch of pictures like “me with girls in cafe/at the beach/in restaurant” and most of them are the same girls – be careful. She might find some spare time for you, but most likely you will end up paying for her and her friends, partying all the time without ever getting closer. Maybe (just maybe) one of her friends being really drunk will agree to a blow job, but won’t be able to perform anyway because she will fall asleep.

19. There’s a separate class of girls on any dating web site, I call them “talking questionnaires“. Even if she’s going to agree to devote her attention to you, for the next 30 to 40 minutes you are going to be answering your questions. Even longer, actually, if you really could remember what was the middle name of your kindergarten teacher, when your old uncle Joe fell down the stairs and how many stairs were there, what color was the first shoes you ever wore and so on. After you brave through all of the questions she will disappear for half an hour and only after your eleventh attempt to contact her will she reply that you’re great guy and someone somewhere out there might definitely like you. Just not her and not today. Tomorrow doesn’t look good either, you know.

20. There’s another class of beings that think that if one guy stood them up for a date that means all guys are pigs. And they go out there for revenge. They want blood, if only figuratively speaking. Anything you may say will be interpreted as a proof that you’re pig. If you won’t say anything they will interpret is as that you are such a big pig that you have un-learned how to talk.

21. There’s yet another class of… let’s say people… They are wives of rich guys who have abandoned them for a young secretary or better looking mistress. In pictures they look above average (meaning – hot enough for you to have a wet dream on a spot). They are in between 27 and 47, usually with one kid. They want someone to love them. Someone to appreciate them for who they are. Someone to marry and come to US and live happily ever after. But not right now, you need to get to know each other better. Just as you start uncovering one amazing thing after another you are surprised that she also likes that “find your own tree” moment, she LOVES Audrey Hepburn or some other stuff you happen to like. There’s one little problem though – the internet is expensive where she lives. It costs around $500/month and she had almost spent all her money for her child. And her shoes are old and torn on the side. And her child wants to go to the beach next month. And so on and so forth. If you look hard enough you even may find real pictures of these abandoned wives, but to much of a surprise they look nothing like the pictures they’ve sent, wear old torn sweaters, sneakers, glasses and beards, live with their parents in Eastern Europe and don’t really care about meeting you.

Tread carefully.


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