Jun 08 2009

What Is Personal Dating Assistant Anyway?

Posted in: Dating  |  Tags: , ,  Written by DD-Guy @ 12:50 pm

There’s an interesting article about dating assistance posted on TechCrunch a few days ago (just to take your minds off the story for something refreshing). It talks about virtual dating assistance where the dating services of “busy guys” gets outsourced. Of course, I’d be more than happy to hear your thoughts on this, and while you contemplate your response to this topic here’s another little story.

A friend of mine who has some nice people skills was working part-time as a dating assistant couple of years ago. Her part was to scout dating web sites for candidates that would fit her client’s requirements and contact them on behalf of the client to arrange a meeting. Now, so far this sounds just short of pimping – while it’s not. A simple code of ethics had actually increased her success rate – I ran statistics for her and it turns out she got up to a bit over 80% from just below 60%.

The rules were simple:

  • no last names – if her client and his date decide so, they’ll exchange it, if not – then not, but she’s not disclosing neither’s personal details beyond the point of what’s neccessary to arrange the meeting
  • a picture is worth a thousand words – if her contact didn’t have a dating profile picture and hadn’t sent her one, then meeting a no-go. If you’re not up to putting your decent picture into profile, then it’s not worth spending time on meeting you – plain and simple.
  • she’s assistant – not personal counselor. Some ladies thought that by sucking up to her they could win some big guy and his money. Since my friend was getting a fixed rate she wasn’t interested in setting up some deals, and she was up-front about that.
  • she’s assistant – if you’re interested, then you will meet the gentleman personally. She wasn’t attempting to pretend that she is her client. First of all – because it’s not ethical. Also, because it’s simply not that easy and anyone really paying attention would really be able to spot the scam. Since the whole thing was run mostly on reputation (as almost any other decent business) – the consequences could be just tragical.
  • Look decent, act decent, be decent – if you plan to show up in miniskirt that ends a little earlier then legs start, or if you’re going to unleash your naughty self on the first date – then you are a wrong candidate. She had no problem with people wanting to have fun, it’s just wasn’t the goal of the job (for those who keep track – that’s the major distinction from pimping). All this was done in order to assist people in finding a person for long-lasting successful relationship, not a one-night stand.

There were a few others, but they pertained to specific demographic, so I am skipping all that. As you can see, there was nothing wrong with personal dating assistance. At times, when my friend was asking me for some advice, it felt more like recruiting a right candidate for a job rather than getting a date. Apparently, most of the candidates felt the same way, because the gig turned to be a major success.


Jan 14 2008

Dating 101 – 5 dating basics. Part V – Calling The Next Day

Posted in: Dating  |  Tags: , , ,  Written by DD-Guy @ 12:41 pm

Call her - dating adviceThis is the final part of Dating 101 – 5 dating basics. This time we are talking about calling the next day. Basically, the only reason for not calling next day is if the date was abruptly ended for some reason – like you call her “stupid bitch” or she calling you a “racist asshole”. If you parted on good terms – there is no reason for not calling.

The outcome of the date can be expressed in binary terms – either zero or one, TRUE or FALSE. In simple words – do you want a second date – yes or no? If yes – call her and say so. If no – call her, thank her and don’t ask for a second date. This is still a part of the routine to build your self-confidence and be a gentleman. So even if you won’t see her anymore – you have no idea who she might talk to. And believe me, there’s a difference for that hot chick with firm body you’ll have a chance to talk to next month – if her friend would say her date with you was “interesting, but we just didn’t click” or if she would say “he’s a schmuck who didn’t even call me next day to say thank you”. We all know the value of a good reference. This is the occasion to value it even more.

Since this is the last part of the Dating 101, let me venture on a little personal story path. There was this cute girl I went out once but we didn’t really click. Although the intellectual level was certainly there, the emotional wasn’t quite on par with what I was looking for. We had quite a good time at City Crab restaurant, waitress was certainly sure that we were heading straight for that Big Day, but – it just didn’t work. What happened next was something I would expect from a plot of a porn movie, not from my date.

Next day, when I called her, she said she felt that we didn’t quite connect emotionally. She said it was her fault. She said she didn’t want to go into that too deep, but there is this guy she feels attached to. He went on a long trip to Alaska. She’s not sure if they split for good or not. That’s okay, I said. Then she said that she really liked me and my attitude and behavior. And that she had this friend, who broke up with her boyfriend couple of months ago and is looking to start something serious. And while she herself is not really available she can pass my phone number to that friend and she will call me. She’s a nice girl, into dancing and theater, works in some major financial company, very sweet person.

To say that I was amazed is to underwhelm the situation. Dream come true. Call her the next day. You never know.


Jan 09 2008

Dating 101 – 5 dating basics. Part IV – Being A Gentleman

Posted in: Dating  |  Tags: , , , , , , ,  Written by DD-Guy @ 12:39 am

Lady and GentlemanIt is really hard to elaborate on how to be a gentleman. It’s rather easy to say what NOT to do. Don’t be an asshole. Don’t offend her. Don’t make sexual advances too early. Don’t tell her how good you are. Don’t brag about yourself. Oh, and constantly checking out how you look in a mirror is probably a bad idea too.

A lot of women complain that guys are so chatty about themselves on a first date, that it makes it next to impossible to interrupt such monologues. The key to a successful date is two-way communication, so both of you must speak out. Don’t get too inquisitive, but be naturally interested. The idea behind first date is to see if you physically attracted to each other, if you have anything in common to talk about and if there is any spark or chemistry between the two of you. Basically – do you want to see that person again? Would you be interested in talking to her (or him)? Would you want to “go all the way” – not because you want to stick it into everything that moves, but because you naturally want this specific woman?

Being a gentleman is a good thing for various reasons. Not last one of them is self-respect. You wouldn’t abuse a date by telling her something nasty, impolite – even if she fully deserves it. Just finish the date, get her home (or whatever your parting arrangements are) and move on. Don’t stop to say that her ass takes up whole driveway – even if it does. Believe me, you’ll feel better about yourself and that will lead you to getting a better date tomorrow.

Another reason for being a gentleman is that girls TALK! You never know who your last date knows – maybe she knows someone who’s a friend of your next crush. And her talking can make a huge difference with your new upcoming affair. So be careful what you say and don’t be a schmuck.

Being a gentleman also means telling no lies. Of course everyone wants to look better then they are – that’s why silicon implants got invented! However, there are two problems with lies – a) they get uncovered, and b) they get uncovered at the most inconvenient time possible. That is why I personally try not to BS my date. If she will be interested in me – lies can kill that in a single stroke. If she’s not interested in me because my car isn’t hot enough – I am not in her market anyway.

Last, but not least – being a gentleman also means getting out of your way to please. Women like attention, they have this special gland or something that measures men’s attention to her down to tiniest bits. So if you think she’s the woman you want – please that gland today like there is no tomorrow. That’s the only way to make sure that tomorrow will come.

And it just might belong to you!


Jan 06 2008

Dating 101 – 5 dating basics. Part III – Money Matters

Posted in: Dating  |  Tags: , , , ,  Written by DD-Guy @ 9:13 pm

Money are the heart openerThis is the third article on dating 101 -dating basics. And part III is all about the money.

When you paying for a lady at the restaurant – you not really impressing her with amount of money you are able to spend (remember – there is always a bigger fish). Paying for the lady is viewed by many girls as a privilege (as one of my female friends put it on her lousy date – “You haven’t earned the right to pay for me yet. And hardly will.”) It doesn’t mean you have to drive the date down if you don’t want to pay. Girl may ask if you need help with a bill, she may even dive into her bag for the money. Don’t be fooled – she doesn’t want to pay. She’s testing you. If you have any intent to continue to see that woman again in your life and not get spit in your face – you must pay for her.

This is a very touchy subject, but it has to be cleared out. The reason why you, the guy, must pick the place for a date is because you know your budget. Don’t spend all your money on a first date (you may do well on a date, there will be a second, but oops… you are out of money). Mind your budget, pick something that will not break your bank. Sure, if you are not a teenager then McDonalds and Wendy’s are out of the question. Check Zagat or Citysearch, make sure the you have a backup plan or call in advance and make a reservation. It is the attention that matters, not the amount of money nor the scale of the restaurant. One of my best dates happened in a very inexpensive local cafe, where the distraction of environment was minimal – we didn’t have to mind forks and knives so we had full attention to ourselves. The result was much more then I anticipated.

Speaking of location – once you picked the place make sure you can afford most expensive dishes on the menu. Some girls like to order the most expensive thing out there just to see how you would react. The decision is up to you, but if I see a girl ordering the most expensive meal on the menu – that’s her last date with me. First date is not about food, razzle-dazzle and how much money I can spend on her. The first date is all about first impression. I’ve heard of a guy who would borrow friend’s old beaten Buick to go on a first date with a girl while leaving his Porsche in the garage.

To sum things up – pick a known place or a place you think she would like. Make sure you can pay for both and don’t let her provoke you in any way. That, actually, is a way to prove you have self-confidence, show her that you are cool. That’s what can win you those brownie points and get you ahead of the competition.


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