Don’t Date This Guy

The correct answer is “no”, of course, but I hope it made you think.

What do you think when you see a girl with a Blackberry, zealously typing away? Do you think she’s just the corporate slave, just like the most of us? But what if she bought this Blackberry on her own, because she wanted to?

What I usually say is “the cure girl with Blackberry has no personal life”. The reason for it is that the Blackberry (or any smart phone for that sense) is somewhat a cumbersome creature in itself. It takes time to figure one out. If the girl’s private life is all set, mostl likely she doesn’t have the time required for that. If you see she’s doing good with her Blackberry – that might be your chance. Don’t miss it.

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Don’t know about you, but here in NY almost every day it’s around or above 90 degrees. How would you date in this hostile environment, when even air is sweating?

Well, if you accept that you just absolutely HAVE TO abide to certain limitations, then you’re good to go. Just make sure you know what you’re doing. Below is the list of DOs and DON’Ts for hot weather dating.

DO: Shower in warm or cold water before the date. Don’t use extremely hot or extremely cold water though, since your body will be trying to regain temperature balance and produce more heat while at it. More heat means more sweat.

DON’T: Drink sweetened and carbonated beverages. Sweetened beverages, like cola, skew the sugar balance in your body, making you drink more and more. You end up feeling bloated and, again, sweating.

DO: Drink as little as you can. The less you drink, the less sweat your body produces.

DON’T: Stop drinking at all. You need to keep your body hydrated in hot weather, it’s a must! So you have to practice a little by going from larger to smaller amounts of water until you feel that you had enough water not to feel thristy, but you’re not sweating or sweating very little.

DO: Use anti-perspirants, deodorants and other sweating counter-measures.

DON’T: Overuse cologne. Personally I can’t feel smells at all, but my well-placed sources confirm that one thing that’s one thing that is worse then sweaty smelly guy on a date is the guy who hits you with his cologne smell from mile away.

DO: Set up your date as late as you both possibly can. This way you are dating at the lowest outside temperature possible.

DON’T: Set up your date so late that you both are falling asleep. You want to make an impression of an interesting guy, not comfortable pillow. And don’t even get me started if you snore…

DO: Use air conditioner in your car. If it’s broken – fix it.

DON’T: Use mass transit when going on a date. You may feel you’re in rush, the airconditioner may be broken, it could be to hot or too cold in the bus or on the train. If there is no alternative – get to the place at least 20 – 30 minutes ahead of time, bring some large wet napkins and dry paper towels and use them.

DO: Calm down before the date. If you get too anxious you may start sweating again.

DON’T: Bring your sweating or smell up in the conversation. If you feel that you’ve reached an unacceptable level of sweating – excuse yourself to the restroom and wipe whatever body parts you can with cold wet and then dry towels. This will both remove sweat and cool down your skin.

Of course, these DOs and DON’Ts don’t apply for everyone, your case could be significantly different. However, most of us could save a trouble by following this simple dating advice.

One more word for guys with little extra padding around the body. Sorry folks, I’ve been like that for quite some time, so I know what it feels like. Aside from the advice to hit the gym in the fall (we’ll get to that in this blog soon) I can only suggest you limit your activities in the open air to as small as possible. My course of action was as follows:

• take a mildly warm shower, cool down after it
• walk to the car, pump the AC, cool down
• wipe arms, neck and shoulders with dry paper towels
• drive to date’s place, pick her up, get her to the place
• park as close to the place as possible or submit to valet parking’s mercy (both looking for parking and valet are known problems in NY)
• get into the place that is well airconditioned
• drink very little water
• order very easy and light food – seafood or chicken, eat vegetables instead of drinking
• avoid spicy food and heavy drinks like beer
• by the end of the meal (usually before the desert) excuse myself to the men’s room, wipe sweat if there’s any, cool down the skin, maybe wash the face with cold water
• drive date back home as close to the entrance as possible
• try not to get out of the car unless absolutely neccessary

Keep in mind that your health is much more important then any kind of date, so if you feel that no matter what you do you will feel overheated – just postpone your dating efforts until it cools off outside.

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The previous post (Dating in Pictures) has generated the feedback that wasn’t quite expected. As you can see there are little comments there, but boy, you had to see those e-mails!

Generally I can’t judge your photos, since I am a guy and the picture of you without your shirt can generate interest only if you’re a woman with at least D-size breasts. Otherwise – I have no idea how attractive you look. On the other hand, if you look dumb – showing off that size 56 belly – I’ll be sure to let you know.

A lot of people missed a very important point of the previous post – DON’T MAKE PICTURES WITH YOU AND YOUR CAR. 90% of women will consider you either an asshole or an easy money. Either way you loose. Remember – girl look good with the car, guys look good with girls. Don’t confuse yourself there.

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(This post have been intentionally left without the pictures. Think of one yourself.)

It’s year 2008 and there’s no need to remind you that almost all communications are now online. There’s also a great chance that you are trying to find your dates on the internet, on one of numerous dating web sites. That – or rather pictures on those profiles – would be the focus of our attention here.

The most common mistake almost everyone seems to make is taking a picture with something that should translate a “subliminal” message. Guys take their pictures with their supposedly hot car in the background, while girls prefer to lean heavily on party or travel photographs. Let’s look at these cases a little closer.

There’s nothing wrong in posting you picture in or around your car – IF YOU DESIGNED THE CAR YOURSELF! Otherwise the message you’re sending is basically “I am so fat/ugly/dumb that I had to put my car into the picture to make the photograph worth looking at“. Think about it for a moment. Unless you are on a hunt for a gold digger the expensive car in the background doesn’t really add anything to your profile. By the same rationale you might have took picture with your neighbour’s car, so if you think you project an image of a wealthy individual – you’re wrong.

Same kind of thought process should be applied to the pictures from parties. Just think there for a moment: if you post your pictures from your friend’s bachelor partwhere you’re surrounded with at least three almost naked strippers – you’re saying that you are unable to be in a serious relationship. If you have that macho look with a bottle of beer in your hand – it means that’s pretty much what you want to do in life. If you pose semi-naked showing off your muscles it means there’s nothing else about you but those muscles. Good for a one-night stand, but nothing more. Picture of you and similarly drunk friends – well, you got the idea.

So what’s a good pciture? Honestly – I don’t know. The picture I had on my dating profile that won me the hottest girl that was around wasn’t of a good quality. It showed me from shoulders up, the naked shoulder muscles were out, with one of my cats sitting on my hand. I wasn’t quite shaved and had a regular inquisitive look on my face. As I have found out what girls thought was something like “Well, this guy is strong – look at those muscles – but has a tender side to him, since he’s holding a cat just like he would have held a baby. Let me give him a try…” Can’t say how close to the truth all this is, after all – this was said on a date in order to get me interested, but I think you got the drift.

Of course, the picture alone won’t give you a perfect date, as it has to be YOUR picture. You also should think about what you say or write. And good luck with dating, the season is long open.

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