Dec 09 2009

Dating Advice For Girls: What Do Guys See On A Date

Posted in: Dating  |  Tags: , , , ,  Written by DD-Guy @ 1:22 am

923985_young_woman Just recently I had a very interesting conversation with one young single lady. Her problem, as she described it, was that she kept picking wrong guys for herself. When I asked her with a question – why does it happen all the time, she said that good guys don’t want her, so she ends up with bad ones. So what do we, guys, essentially see in a woman on a date?

  1. We see your body. Especially on a first date – this is the first thing we are paying attention to. Some like curves, some like slim shape, it doesn’t matter. What matters is – we look at how good you look. If you think you can impress us with your smarts and wits – be smart enough to shape up, dress up and put on your make up.
  2. We see woman’s body language. We may not be able to read all the signs or read through, but if your eyes are drifting away all the time – we can spot it. If a woman is constantly checking her phone (or worse yet – her Blackberry) – we take note.
  3. We see how other guys are looking at you. If no one is impressed – we don’t want it. Believe it or not – we do value peer review. So if other guys are looking at us with envy, or not even looking at us because they look at you – we made the right choice.
  4. We pay attention to what you are saying. Men mostly are straightforward. If woman says she’d like pizza – we go and get some pizza for her and for us. Or take her to such place. We don’t see this as yet another puzzle that, when solved, should reveal the desire to be taken on a long night walk at the beach with some champagne, flowers and poems under the Moon. Really, you said pizza, didn’t you?
  5. We pay attention to the difference between that picture in your dating profile and the real thing that just landed in the chair across from us. If the difference is too significant – we will run away. The more the difference the faster the speed. Want to manipulate men? Here’s your chance.
  6. We see a desperate woman when she is desperate. Everyone hits a rough patch once in a while, the idea is not to lose control over yourself because of that. If you seem desperate – we see you as an easy target. Some may take advantage of that, but most men will likely pass you by. We are hunters, if prey falls from the sky into our hands – where’s the excitement? We move on immediately. If we feed on a healthy prey – we get better at hunting. Those who pick you up after us are scavengers. You don’t want them.
  7. We understand that nobody is perfect. We may turn the blind eye to some of the shortcomings, but if there are too many – we can’t. Neither can you. As I have said – no one is perfect, no matter what your mom told you.
  8. We don’t like to rush things, so we immediately see when women do. Picking up a good name for baby is good for 3rd month of pregnancy, not 3rd month of dating. Of course most women want marriage, children and the whole thing. But rushing us into it may just make us do the opposite. At one time there was a popular story when after a one-night stand guy wakes up with a girl next to him in his bed. And the first thing he hears is “and in that corner we will put baby’s cradle”.
  9. Last, but not least. We see how you react to our faults. If a guy dropped a fork on the floor, or spilled wine on the table and all he hears is how clumsy he is – chances are that this is his last date with you. You can call him gazillion times – he will not go out with you again. He doesn’t need another mom telling him how to do simple things.

Oct 08 2008

A Letter From Disgruntled Looker

Posted in: Other  |  Tags: , ,  Written by DD-Guy @ 2:26 pm

As you might have already guessed – we get a lot of mail. Not comments (strange), but plenty of e-mails asking, answering and suggesting.

Make no mistake – we read them all.

One e-mail, however, caught our attention – primarily because we share it’s point of view. Both – ladies and men, even some of our friends agreed with it. Yet, somehow, it still seems to be sort of an issue.

The letter talks about guys looking at girls on the street. Not teenagers or toddlers, we talking about a real world adults who look at each other – and get upset when some one looks at them. But let’s see what the actual letter has to say.

From: Disgruntled Looker
To: DontDateGuy
Subject: Why Are They Mad At Me?

First – let me make couple of points about myself. I am good looking, neatly dressed guy, who works in IT. I am not overweight (in fact – I excercise quite regularly), also take shower and brush my teeth at least once a day in the morning. I don’t have anyvisible defects to my face, body or posture. On any day there are hundrends like me on the street – some look better, many look worse, but if you not really paying attention – you probably would not spot me right-on.

That being said – what’s wrong with those ladies on the street? Almost any time they see me looking at them they cringe. If I let out a slight smile – they cringe even more. It’s almost like I am trying to get into their pants without even asking their name – and all I did was looked. What’s wrong with these ladies? I can’t be looking that bad to scare them off!

Aren’t they spend hours putting on make-up and doing their hair? Shopping for the best clothes out there that fit them perfectly? Aren’t they? If so – why do they protest if someone appreciates their efforts if only by looking?

Listen, ladies, let me put it this way. You don’t want to be noticed? You don’t want to be looked at with admiration and adoration? That’s fine with me. Just take off your make up, your lift-up bra, your semi-transparent clothes and your expensive shoes. Put on some dumb dress from “Everythign for $9.99” and some cheap flats. Don’t make an impression. Look average or ugly. Please. I have no problem with that. In fact – I don’t think anyone will have a problem with that.

However, if you made yourself into a queen of fashion or a new shiny star on the block and are walking down the street – don’t think that every penis carrying individual shoud just shut his eyes and pretend you aren’t there. We’re hunters, we notice flashy objects, good looking curves and attractive lines. Sorry, but if you are beautiful (or at least look like you are) – we will notice. We will look.

Or would you rather dress up nice – and no one would notice? Would you really honestly want that?

That’s where the letter ends. Honestly – we don’t know what to make out of it. To quote one of the very beautiful girls I know (and whom I have a chance to see every day): “This guy is damn right – I don’t understand those stupid bitches either. If I go out with my make up on and dressed up and in my shoes – I want men to notice. I want them to salivate every single inch of the way I will be passing them by. Otherwise I won’t feel like a married woman.”

I couldn’t have said it better myself.