Nov 01 2009

Thank You For Comments

Posted in: Dating  |  Tags: , , , ,  Written by DD-Guy @ 1:38 pm

After I have completed the whole eHarmony dating web site report (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, follow-up) I got a number of comments. Thank you for them, it was nice to see this work didn’t go unnoticed. Also, it was nice to see that there are many ladies among those who are reading this. Not sure why you are doing this, but thank you too!

Unfortunately most of these are the comments that I cannot display for a number of obvious reasons. One of them being that someone was disgruntled with eHarmony because that one guy was an asshole. It happens on any dating web site, not just eHarmony, therefore it’s a bit off the topic. Another was that quite a few of you commentators are posting real names of people who wronged you or your own names, which – for your own good – you should not be doing, unless you’re absolutely sure. And last, but not least, because¬† the description of your experience was too detailed and that you might regret posting this in conjunction with your names in the future, but your comment would show up in Google’s cache – forever, even if this blog would be no more. So those of you who really think you want your issues discussed – let me know, I am giving you a couple of weeks of cooling off time.

Let me address the most talked about issue from comments. It wasn’t just two people who got hooked dating liars and gold diggers, there’s a huge chunk of you, guys, who get into dating or into relationship so blindly, you keep banging your head on the closed door of the next train, not even noticing that the first one left two days ago. I can understand teenagers doing that for hormonal reasons, but after you hit your twenties half a dozen times you should know better. Open your eyes, more importantly – open your ears! Listen to her – not only it’s a sure way to get closer and to keep her, it is also the best way to spot a liar or a gold digger.

Next dating issue on the list – someone wronged you and you run around posting that person’s name on every blog and forum about dating you can possibly google. Here’s a hint – stop whining. Dating is a game, there are winners and loosers and if you already came up on a short end of stick – you don’t really want the whole world to know, do you? Do you really think spending your time copy-pasting that rant across the internet will help you find that girl you are looking for? Or do you think the person who wronged you will crawl on all four into your apartment to give you an apology and a blowjob? I don’t think so. Just shut up and move on. Find someone hotter, smarter and better – to show that person and everyone else that you can do better.

To conclude – a little story. Well, maybe not really little, but I will keep it brief. There is this friend of mine, nice guy, athletic build, smart, stable – everything a decent girl wants. He is dreaming to get a very specific type of girl – approximately his age, slim, big breasts, redhead, smart and sexy. My take on that was – good luck with that, they’re all taken already. Imagine my surprise when he shows up with exactly that type of a girl. Damn smart, damn sexy and everything else is there. He wasted half a year and huge chunk of money dating her, but she didn’t even let him kiss her. My thoughts were – what a loser, not even a kiss in a half a year! He breaks up with her and in less then three months picks up another – redhead, hotter than fire, all is there and then there’s some. To my eyes – she looked hotter than his previous girl by leaps and bounds; he thinks exactly the same thing. For all I know – they are married for almost two years already, never been happier with each other. I happen to ask them if he ever told her about that girl he dated for half a year. To much of my surprise – not only he did, he asked why would someone do something like this. Her response was straight¬† and to the point – “I am so lucky that stupid bitch didn’t know WHAT she had next to her”.

Please, stop grieving about someone who is that stupid. Go out and make someone happy.


Jan 09 2008

Dating 101 – 5 dating basics. Part IV – Being A Gentleman

Posted in: Dating  |  Tags: , , , , , , ,  Written by DD-Guy @ 12:39 am

Lady and GentlemanIt is really hard to elaborate on how to be a gentleman. It’s rather easy to say what NOT to do. Don’t be an asshole. Don’t offend her. Don’t make sexual advances too early. Don’t tell her how good you are. Don’t brag about yourself. Oh, and constantly checking out how you look in a mirror is probably a bad idea too.

A lot of women complain that guys are so chatty about themselves on a first date, that it makes it next to impossible to interrupt such monologues. The key to a successful date is two-way communication, so both of you must speak out. Don’t get too inquisitive, but be naturally interested. The idea behind first date is to see if you physically attracted to each other, if you have anything in common to talk about and if there is any spark or chemistry between the two of you. Basically – do you want to see that person again? Would you be interested in talking to her (or him)? Would you want to “go all the way” – not because you want to stick it into everything that moves, but because you naturally want this specific woman?

Being a gentleman is a good thing for various reasons. Not last one of them is self-respect. You wouldn’t abuse a date by telling her something nasty, impolite – even if she fully deserves it. Just finish the date, get her home (or whatever your parting arrangements are) and move on. Don’t stop to say that her ass takes up whole driveway – even if it does. Believe me, you’ll feel better about yourself and that will lead you to getting a better date tomorrow.

Another reason for being a gentleman is that girls TALK! You never know who your last date knows – maybe she knows someone who’s a friend of your next crush. And her talking can make a huge difference with your new upcoming affair. So be careful what you say and don’t be a schmuck.

Being a gentleman also means telling no lies. Of course everyone wants to look better then they are – that’s why silicon implants got invented! However, there are two problems with lies – a) they get uncovered, and b) they get uncovered at the most inconvenient time possible. That is why I personally try not to BS my date. If she will be interested in me – lies can kill that in a single stroke. If she’s not interested in me because my car isn’t hot enough – I am not in her market anyway.

Last, but not least – being a gentleman also means getting out of your way to please. Women like attention, they have this special gland or something that measures men’s attention to her down to tiniest bits. So if you think she’s the woman you want – please that gland today like there is no tomorrow. That’s the only way to make sure that tomorrow will come.

And it just might belong to you!