Don’t Date This Guy

One thing I forgot to share about the profile without pictures was that there was about a hundred of closed communications (that is when eHarmony sends you “check out this match” and you decide to close it for whatever reason), with the sole reason of profile missing the pictures.

This is important. In fact, this is the most important thing ever. eHarmony pitches itself as a service that matches you on a zillion levels through their overly complicated and annoying questionnaire process. However, think of it this way – if you have decided to bite the bullet and pay for matchmaking service, you want to get your money’s worth. Without an excellent picture in your dating profile you are wasting your money. Was that the idea? Hardly.

No matter how many questions you answer and how carefully eHarmony’s algorithm will be picking your matches, if your potential soul mate will see a garbled picture with someone wear something flashy shot against some kind of car – you pretty much making sure they won’t be interested. Imagine the girl of your dreams passing by because you yourself didn’t make any effort to make the connection.

One good thing about eHarmony is that even after another party has decided to close the connection, you still have a “grace shot” at it, sending your kind of closing message. After I have posted pictures to my profile I went through most of closed communications and shot back with “I have uploaded the pictures”. I bet only about 10 – 20% of ladies will give it another look. Just think about the rest of them and how much you are missing by simply being a lazy ass and not posting your pictures.

Remember: before you can get to her ears you need to please her eyes. Regardless of how many questions eHarmony will have you answer, not a single one of them makes you closer with your match.

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Since we have suggested a number of dating web sites on this blog, I have personally decided to bite the bullet and went undercover into some of the web sites we have listed – and some we have not. First hand report – read below.

First dating web site I went to was eHarmony – since they are the most advertised, or rather, were the most advertised when I was signing up. For full 2 months I kept my profile without any pictures – the matches were pouring in no matter what. I even started a conversation with some lady. I didn’t feel bad – 80% of matched profiles were without pictures as well. Of course it’s important to match on those hundreds of factors, but if there’s no picture – still, I’m not a game. I am, therefore, suprised that about 10% of matches did start some sort of communication. They must be either terminally naive or dead desperate. Judging by pictures of a few who had them – second reason makes incredibly more sense.

Overall, the picture scene on eHarmony puzzles me to no extent. A lot of good looking ladies have their pictures with good looking men – without any explanations whatsoever. I mean – this could be brother, uncle or gay friend – I couldn’t care less, but if you post a picture of yourself hanging off the neck of another guy – there better be an explanation of that. Sometimes there are two or even three guys who freely hug the lady. I have no objection to that in porn movies, but on a dating web site that pitches itself as a source for matching people for long term relationships… I don’t know.

Now to those party shots. I understand – you want to look sociable, friendly and nice. But if you’re the only one who’s looking 45 in the picture named “Me and my classmates from college” and your profile age is well under 40s – maybe you should reconsider the pictures you’re posting. Same goes for those pictures with bunch of drunken people in it – you’re not telling me you are sociable, you are telling me you hang out with drunks.

And last, on the topic of pictures, if you are paying money to find a match – shouldn’t you be a little more concerned with how you look in the picture? Invest an hour of your time as well, do your make up (or shave), brush your hair (if you have it), ask a friend to hold on to your point-n-shoot camera – look presentable.

As a second part of my research I have uploaded two pictures that in essence – similar to those that appear on user’s profiles. Third part, as you might imagine – uploading NORMAL pictures and measuring the difference. My prediction, based on current experience with eHarmony – it will not make any difference whatsoever. Why? Stay tuned.

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The previous post (Dating in Pictures) has generated the feedback that wasn’t quite expected. As you can see there are little comments there, but boy, you had to see those e-mails!

Generally I can’t judge your photos, since I am a guy and the picture of you without your shirt can generate interest only if you’re a woman with at least D-size breasts. Otherwise – I have no idea how attractive you look. On the other hand, if you look dumb – showing off that size 56 belly – I’ll be sure to let you know.

A lot of people missed a very important point of the previous post – DON’T MAKE PICTURES WITH YOU AND YOUR CAR. 90% of women will consider you either an asshole or an easy money. Either way you loose. Remember – girl look good with the car, guys look good with girls. Don’t confuse yourself there.

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(This post have been intentionally left without the pictures. Think of one yourself.)

It’s year 2008 and there’s no need to remind you that almost all communications are now online. There’s also a great chance that you are trying to find your dates on the internet, on one of numerous dating web sites. That – or rather pictures on those profiles – would be the focus of our attention here.

The most common mistake almost everyone seems to make is taking a picture with something that should translate a “subliminal” message. Guys take their pictures with their supposedly hot car in the background, while girls prefer to lean heavily on party or travel photographs. Let’s look at these cases a little closer.

There’s nothing wrong in posting you picture in or around your car – IF YOU DESIGNED THE CAR YOURSELF! Otherwise the message you’re sending is basically “I am so fat/ugly/dumb that I had to put my car into the picture to make the photograph worth looking at“. Think about it for a moment. Unless you are on a hunt for a gold digger the expensive car in the background doesn’t really add anything to your profile. By the same rationale you might have took picture with your neighbour’s car, so if you think you project an image of a wealthy individual – you’re wrong.

Same kind of thought process should be applied to the pictures from parties. Just think there for a moment: if you post your pictures from your friend’s bachelor partwhere you’re surrounded with at least three almost naked strippers – you’re saying that you are unable to be in a serious relationship. If you have that macho look with a bottle of beer in your hand – it means that’s pretty much what you want to do in life. If you pose semi-naked showing off your muscles it means there’s nothing else about you but those muscles. Good for a one-night stand, but nothing more. Picture of you and similarly drunk friends – well, you got the idea.

So what’s a good pciture? Honestly – I don’t know. The picture I had on my dating profile that won me the hottest girl that was around wasn’t of a good quality. It showed me from shoulders up, the naked shoulder muscles were out, with one of my cats sitting on my hand. I wasn’t quite shaved and had a regular inquisitive look on my face. As I have found out what girls thought was something like “Well, this guy is strong – look at those muscles – but has a tender side to him, since he’s holding a cat just like he would have held a baby. Let me give him a try…” Can’t say how close to the truth all this is, after all – this was said on a date in order to get me interested, but I think you got the drift.

Of course, the picture alone won’t give you a perfect date, as it has to be YOUR picture. You also should think about what you say or write. And good luck with dating, the season is long open.

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Hey, this is strictly boys only post. I promise, ladies, I’ll make up to you later.

Continue reading “Look what the cat just dragged in…”

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