Feb 06 2010

I Don’t Want Nothing Serious – Why Is She Telling You Just The Opposite Of What She Thinks

Posted in: Dating  |  Tags: , ,  Written by DD-Guy @ 1:00 pm

You are sitting comfortably on a date with the girl you like more and more every minute. You get to that point of conversation where you’re about to share what you want to do with your life in the next ten to twenty years. You, the brave man, venture ahead and boldly say that you want yourself some family, some kids, some stability. In her turn she’s telling you that she doesn’t want anything serious. You sit there a bit disappointed and crushed – after all you kind of liked her and you thought this just might get serious enough…

Here’s where you got to stop. There are few things that may have happened, so be a man and DON’T rush to conclusions immediately. After all, a little thought goes a long way.

1. She is playing you. That is, of course, the most obvious explanation. Basically she waits for you to say “Yeah, I have never believed in that serious relationship thing anyway”. Once you’ve said that – and unless she’s really that kind of the game – you’re done for.

2. She is teasing you. While this means something similar to the previous one, but still different. If she really likes you and your perception of seriousness, she may throw in some fun by saying she doesn’t care. That is, of course, if she’s aware that you have shown to have a sense of humor.

3. She is serious. That’s the biggest disappointment, I know, but yet there are still a couple of chances where you can improve the situation. Yes, she may not be interested in a serious dating – for now. Maybe she’s still recovering from the previous botched relationship. Maybe she just hasn’t met the right guy for so long she got too cynical about it. Or maybe she’s just saying it out loud so that it would turn out not true.

In either case – she’s not saying what she thinks. What you really want to do is figure out what does she hide behind those words. It’s a little dating game and you absolutely must play it – unless you want to bail out right there and then.

First thing you should do is t0 take a deep breath before you say anything else. Think the response through, as that may be an end to the date or a beginning of a beautiful relationship. Then you would want to say is something like: “Sure, I respect your view on this, so why don’t we take things slow and see where this will lead us to“. Now the important this is NOT TO SAY ANYTHING ELSE. If you blurt something like “and then maybe you will reconsider and marry me”, especially on a first or a second date – you’re in a bad shape. Just let it hang in there, because it’s a proposition to leave things going the way they were before. If she’s happy with it – she will agree to it. If she’s not – you don’t need to waste your time and energy on her anymore. In either case you’ll end up knowing more about where your relationship is going and that’s a good thing.


Jan 05 2010

Date You? Why Do You Think She Might Want To Date You?

Posted in: Dating  |  Tags: ,  Written by DD-Guy @ 11:31 pm

Just yesterday one of my friends was telling me how she broke up with her live-in boyfriend on January 1st. Admit it, it happens. Just yesterday you were celebrating and kissing, and today she slammed the door in your face and went to live with her parents/friend or (even worse) her new boyfriend. Or it could have been you who slammed the door and told her to go somewhere else. Shit happens. Dating shit happens even more often. It doesn’t matter anymore just after the moment you broke up. You’re back to dating, back into the search mode.

Now, you back on the dating market, what should you do? 5 simple steps should help you out.

1. Forget your grievances. I know, it’s hard, but until you do – don’t even think of showing up on any dating web site. Women have this “seventh sense”, they feel when you just coming out of a bad relationship, so unless you’re looking for mother-son type of relationship (more on that later) – don’t!

2. Do your homework. Once you over the break up, think why your relationship failed, especially how you contributed to the failure. Speaking from experience, it’s best done during the next mentioned activity.

3. Hit the gym! Holidays are food, fun, food and some more food. Everyone knows it, but it doesn’t mean she will accept your “love handles, extraordinaire“. Get back to your gym, your diet, your running routine, whatever – just get back in shape ASAP. If you want the best, you must give out your best.

4. Don’t bring your old relationship into the new one. This may sound like #1 on the list, but I actually mean something else. Even after you get over the break up, you still will be trying to take things as they used to be. Maybe she will let you slide once after you say “My ex-girlfriend always made coffee in the morning”, but if it gets a bit too repetitive you may find making only one cup of coffee instead of two.

5. Dress up! Whatever your ex was telling you about the way she wanted you to dress – forget that for a moment and dress nice and appropriate. Maybe she liked that “bad boy” style, maybe she wanted to be seen with total geek – whatever her choice was, there is a little chance you will make exactly the same impression on all the other girls you are planning to meet. So dress up, just a notch above the line so she would take you seriously.

With Valentine’s Day only weeks away, you may want to straighten up your image and get to searching so that someone truly significant will feed you those cheesy strawberries with creme or chocolates in February. Good luck!


Dec 31 2009

Christmas Story – A Day After

Posted in: Dating,Memoirs  |  Tags: ,  Written by DD-Guy @ 10:07 pm

A Christmas Story - A Day After (third date) (This is part 4. Click here for Part 3, Part 2 or Part 1)

So the next day comes and she calls him. They exchange pleasantries and agree to meet later on that day for a Friday night date. Obviously, there’s no talk about clubs, parties or any other stuff. They have decided to simply meet, talk and, maybe, walk.

Around 8 o’clock they’ve settled in a small restaurant, quiet enough that they could actually talk. She was persuasive as a devil himself, so our guy believed there was a legit reason for her to miss the date (Ahh, that persuasion force, triple-D on a bra scale – how many men have fallen for it). Since it was Friday already, there was no need to get up early tomorrow morning, so they sat and talk for hours. Then he drove her home and again – they talked for another couple of hours. She was wearing some sort of semi-transparent long skirt, so not only her curves were seductively partially visible, but also her gorgeous legs. She definitely knew how to capture man’s attention and keep it all to herself. When the clock in the car was showing 2:21am they decided to finish the date with a long goodnight kiss. By some 2:40am he was able to catch a breath and started a car on the way home.

Next few days passed, they met, walked or went out, kissing more passionately and more often. However, she was running out of new dresses. He was also running out – of patience. She noticed him getting anxious about taking the relationship to the next step (wasn’t that obvious!) and brought up an interesting discovery. Being a hot attractive woman she was never short of man’s attention. What she was short of, was men who wanted a good relationship. So she came up with this idea that the man should patiently win her over – in due time. She wasn’t shy of having sex, in fact, one of the reasons why she kept going out with our guy was that she was interested in him and having a healthy sexual relationship – all perks attached. Not just having hot sex, but having a full-blown relationship. Hot relationship.

And for that, she said, she wants him to change his wardrobe. Coming from the point when our guy was overweight and wearing size 42 clothes, it kind of made sense. So they went on a shopping spree. 5 hours and $5,000 later she finally was happy with the way her man looked on the outside. As a side benefit she got to see what’s under the bulky clothes and she loved every piece of it. But one last piece remained untouched. She decided if she wanted to put it out she want to do it in style.

They took a spontaneous trip to Philadelphia. Why Philadelphia? I asked them both – neither have any idea. It just sort of popped up in conversation. They booked a room in a plain hotel in the center of Philadelphia. He prepared a little surprise for her though. Once she walked into the reception area and said her name the receptionist handed her a huge bouquet of orchids, her favorite flowers, while he was still parking the car outside. Given that they have arrived at 10pm, this counted for double the brownie points. They got into their room and…

Well, let’s just wrap the story up by saying that next day they woke up late. Right around the corner from the hotel where they were staying there is a Philadelphia Love Park. That is where they took their first picture together – right under that huge red sign. And as they told me there wasn’t a day after that they spent apart ever since.


Dec 14 2009

9 Reasons Not To Date Her – No Matter How Hot She Is

Posted in: Dating  |  Tags: ,  Written by DD-Guy @ 11:53 am

There are one solid reason why you should date any woman you like and that is – you are straight, you like her, you want her. That’s well and understood. However, there are a few reasons why you should NOT date that girl, and I urge you to read through carefully and consider your options.

1. There is a feature or two that you like, but overall she’s not your cup of tea. DON’T DO IT. Those features get easily lost in a day to day life. Trust  me, you are going to annoy each other to hell and back, so if you don’t absolutely love everything about that person – don’t date her.

2. She’s a gold digger. This should be a no-brainer, but some guys do indeed loose their brains somewhere around their ass. Unless you print money in your basement, no matter how much you are making there will never be enough. True, you are making money so that most of it would be spend on girls or by girls, but please be a man, not an ATM.

3. She has a busy social life. Everyone needs to party from time to time, there is nothing wrong with that. But if whenever you call her, you find her partying it means that either you don’t call too often or she parties too much. Do you want to date a girl who’s only objective in life is to go to as many parties as possible?

4. She has busy family life. No doubt about it, if she helps her older parents that deserves a highest respect. However, if taking her out on a date becomes a problem because she needs to do this and that around the house or needs to run errands for her cousin – maybe you should be looking for a date elsewhere.

5. She is a busy working bee. Career is important, building it is hard. Some people do indeed work 24×7, but it doesn’t mean you don’t get to enjoy personal life. We are not talking about ideal balance, but balance is what you should be looking for. If she pays more attention to her Blackberry than to anything you had to say throughout the whole evening – wish her good luck and search again.

6. She has those “special” friends. It doesn’t mean you have to strip her of her friendships with other people, not at all. But again, there has to be some balance between what she does and with whom. When you are just starting – there isn’t much you could or should do about that, but when your relationship is already well underway special friends (who take priority over you) aren’t a good sign. You will just have to figure it out if they are rooting against you or if you have good relationships with them too, as they may have their own agenda: for all you know they may be working hard not to lose their benefits.

7. She has substance issues. You are not going to believe it, but there is a big number of people who actually think they can save someone by having a relationship with that person. Once in a blue moon it may help – and that is when you might read it all over the news. Here’s an example that I think perfectly illustrates it. Imagine you are standing on a table, near the edge. Imagine another person (who you are trying to save and bring to your level) is standing next to you on the floor. How hard would it be to pull that person up onto the table? How hard would it be for that person to bring you down? See what I mean?

8. She is a known cheater. Sorry, no matter how many times she is saying that she loves you, if she is not happy with something – she will cheat again and again. If you plan on having an open relationship – that’s fine, but if you want to have a foundation for a family – I doubt this will be acceptable.

9. She has attention issues. This is sort of two-in one point, so bear with me. If she thinks she doesn’t get enough attention from you and other people – she will go to great lengths to attract it. Dressing provocatively and following up on such provocations is the bare minimum of what you should expect. Alternatively, if she does not give you enough attention (whatever the reasons are), it usually means that on her scale of importance of things, you are somewhere between her pet and a mail man. Of course, you know all the stories about the mail man, but have you seen any of them ending with “they lived happily ever after“?


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