Jan 04 2008

Dating 101 - 5 dating basics. Part I - Self-Confidence

Posted in: Dating  |  Tags: , ,  Written by DD-Guy @ 2:09 am

Build your confidence - DontDateGuy.comYesterday I went over five basic things for dating that most guys tend to overlook. Starting this day I want to elaborate on each topic so that you’ll get the whole picture as clear as possible. Besides, it never hurts to reiterate important stuff, if guys keep forgetting about it.

Today we will talk about self-confidence. Of course, if you think you are the center of the universe you need to be reading a list of psychiatric clinics instead of this blog, but I’m sure that’s not the case. We’re talking regular folk here.

Don’t blabber about yourself too much. Even if she asks - answer should be short yet concise. Don’t boast about recent promotion yet, couple of dates later it might be a better idea. Same goes for your office and money you are making. If this is all you can bring to the table - she might think about next guy who makes more money then you. Remember, there’s always a bigger fish in the ocean.

Don’t brag on the brands you’re wearing. You will most likely alienate your date (unless she’s a gold digger and just looking for some financial support) if you will drone about your watch, your suit or your car. Most ladies know only three main car brands (those are BMW, Lexus and Mercedes) and you will have hard time and a stupid look on your face trying to explain why your car is better. Besides, it just tells her that you will not care about her more then you care about your car. And this is not the impression you’re going after.

Discussion of your former encounters must be absolutely forbidden. Keep that as far away from conversation as possible. Just don’t go there, trust me - you will never impress a woman if you mention that you had “multiple affairs”. If she strongly insists - the only allowed topic is your last relationship. Most likely she will want to know when did it end (it DID end, right?) and on what terms. Be prepared with a story as close to the truth as possible, but don’t put yourself in a bad light. After all you want her to be your next relationship and she wants to be sure you are the “good guy”. So give her something, but save juicy details for later, when she already past the point of checking references. It’s hard to suggest what to say, but outright lying is the worst you can do. From my experience (and my sources confirm that) if you say something like “we had issues and misunderstandings, I did what I could to save the relationship, but, unfortunately, failed” (in your own words, of course) could score you more brownie points then saying “she was a stupid arrogant bitch“. If she was that bad - how come you ended up with her for so long?

Unfortunately, there is no sure-fire way of telling how to be self-confident with a woman. If you know it already - you hardly need any advice at all, because that’s what chicks dig the most. Ever thought why cute girls end up with biggest assholes? Because those guys have a lot of self-confidence which ladies love to see in men. As my sources tell me - the self-confident man usually doesn’t talk much, but acts in a certain way that allows lady to identify him as a “worthy man”.

Another piece of free dating advice. Even if you fail to impress a girl and after a date or two she said that she doesn’t want to go on - do an “exit interview”. Ask what you did wrong, since this will allow you to fix your issues and don’t make same mistake again in a future. Plus, this little trick will add another extra to your self-esteem.

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Jan 03 2008

Dating 101 - 5 dating basics

Posted in: Dating  |  Tags: , ,  Written by DD-Guy @ 11:34 am

Just to kick start the conversation, let’s go over basics. Sure, you’ve seen this a thousand times, but according to my reports from trusted sources around 75% of us, guys, forget at least one of them. So here’s the breakdown.

  1. Be confident on your date (read more about this here). It means that you have to be calm and respectful, but not acting aloof. Also, it doesn’t mean that you have to boast about yourself all the time. Let the girl speak, listen, ask questions. And no, you can’t ask “can we go to bed already?”, not unless you are on a date with hooker.
  2. Be on time (read more about this here). Girls don’t really want to wait, so unless she’s looking for a sugar daddy and you take your time deciding between Bugatti and Rolls-Royce - be on time. Bring your trusty smartphone or PDA (not your favorite porn magazine), because you will be waiting for at least 10 minutes. It’s very rare that the girl would show up on time (if she does - she’s either desperate or control freak, either case is very dangerous, beware!).
  3. Bring enough cash (read more about this here). You WILL BE PAYING FOR HER ON A DATE. Unless you are a dork, mama’s boy or plain old asshole - you will be paying for her on a date. If you want more then just a date - you will be paying for her on a date. If you want her to respect you - you will be paying for her from the beginning. Unless, of course, you are looking for sugar mommy. But then - you are reading the wrong blog. This is one of the main tricks girls like to play: when your waiter brings your check she may go for a wallet. This is a good moment to do two things. First - tell her (with confidence in your voice) that you will take care of that. Second - if her hands are close enough - try to cover her hand with yours. Oh, and try not to nail her little palm to the table - be gentle. It may not sound like much, but it will give you the necessary clues as to what she thinks of you. If she insists on paying no matter what - you’re out. If she takes her hand out from under yours too fast - bad sign. If she lets you pay and don’t immediately withdraw her hand - you’re on the right track, keep up the good job.
    (Note: a dinner for two in a nice restaurant in NYC, Brooklyn or Queens may run up to $150, so make sure you have something left afterwards. Also, be prepared and have couple of alternatives in case she’s a vegan, don’t like sushi or not into exotic food).
  4. No matter how good, bad or inadequate you think your date was - be a gentleman (read more about this here). Don’t say or do anything that may offend her. Wait until she’s in the cab, or in case you are driving her - make sure she enters her house/building. In New York boroughs it is considered a nice gesture to wait for lady to enter the building and shut the door behind her. Doors have plenty of glass for you to see that she’s safely inside. Again - doesn’t sound like much, but if your date wasn’t a total disaster it may give her a thought that you are a considerate man. If she already doesn’t think you’re a freak, that is. After she’s out of sight you can proceed to calling yourself a moron for telling that stupid story you thought was funny, spilled ketchup or whatever else we, guys, do on a sloppy dates.
  5. Call her next day and thank her for the time (read more about this here). Yes, she looked ten years older and twenty five pounds larger then her pictures on a dating site where you hit it off. Yes, she ordered the most expensive meal at the restaurant just to see how you will react. And yes, she didn’t let you kiss her goodbye when she left. Call her. You still may be surprised. My trusty sources tell me that by next day girl doesn’t remember half of your flops but will remember that you liked her sense of humor, her fluffy hair or how you opened the car door for her. Use it!
  6. BONUS! ONE MORE FREE DATING ADVICE! One more thing you absolutely must do on any date. Be generous - give her plenty of compliments. Even if she totally don’t deserve it - they cost you nothing at all. Don’t go into clothes unless you absolutely know what you are doing, but be inventive. If she spills coffee on the table say you too like to tell future by looking at coffee grounds.

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Jan 02 2008

First date poll

Posted in: Dating  |  Tags: , ,  Written by DD-Guy @ 10:45 pm

What is the first three things you notice in your date when you first see her?

Mine is:

  • hair and face features - face it, that’s the place you will be looking at for a good deal of time, so it is important;
  • body shape (I am very much a breast man, so the shape is, indeed, important);
  • articulation and body language - tells you a lot if you know what to look for (more on that later)

Don’t be afraid to elaborate in comments

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