Christmas Story – The Day They’ve Met

Christmas Story - Romantic Evening - Dating Advice Blog (This is part 2. Click here for Part 1)

She called him that same day, June 19th. They spent about an hour talking on the phone, exchanging pleasantries and growing interest in each other carefully. Each sensed something familiar, but couldn’t quite figure out what it was.

As it turned out – both were Gemini, only 4 years apart. Both liked to fool around as madmen, but both were working since out of school, so it wasn’t like they had an easy living on their parent’s nickel. They have set on a date – right next day – both agreeing that better off meeting as soon as possible and see whether it will work out. Why waste time on pointless bickering if they both know what they want and just need a chance to see if the other party was right – or not.

When she showed up from her apartment, freshly made up and dressed up and glowing with confidence he realized he doesn’t know any good restaurants he can take her to. Anything he knew wasn’t upscale enough to take such a glamorous girl to. It would be painfully, obviously out of place. However, since she, nevertheless, hopped into the car he decided to go with Plan B.

What’s a plan B you asked? So did I. Turns out Plan B is when you don’t take your date to the most expensive restaurant you know. Basically, it is an unspoken rule that the better looking girl you take on a date, the better (and more expensive) restaurant you take her to. However, chances always are that girl will be so beautiful that there will be no such restaurant that you know of. Or can afford. Either way – you drop to Plan B.

So where to did he took her then? To the small pastry cafe, where everything (but the food) sucks – service, waiters, even prices. What’s the reason? Playing on the contrast.

Turned out the decision was a major success. They weren’t bothered by the service or having to mind their manners all the time and were able to relax. Coffee, tea and couple of biscuits were more than enough food for two non-stop talking Geminis.

The date lasted for three and half hours (instead of 45 minutes he thought it would). They were flirting before they even knew it. She asked a waiter for fruit salad. Waiter said that the only fruits they had was strawberries with whipped cream. Waving her huge eyelashes at both her date and a waiter she said that strawberries and whipped cream aren’t exactly the first date meal, but she knows, however, that one can lead to another. Waiter, totally red (shifting into infra-red already), left hastily.

When she excused herself to the restroom, he looked around and realized there were quite a few spectators that have abandoned their own dates as they watched for the outcome of our couple’s date. Girls were checking the guy out weighting the chance to approach him while the girl was away. Guys started lining up closer to the restroom exit with hopes to get a closer look at the girl. With slim waistline and DDD-size bra cup filled with 100% natural contents she was an eye candy for anyone.

But as every other date, this one had to end. He took her home, putting on couple of finishing touches, like saying he enjoyed the date, gently tapping her wrist while saying he doesn’t feel like letting her go. They parted wishing each other a good night. He promised himself not to forget to call her tomorrow since she looked almost too good to be true and anyway too good a chance to miss.

Christmas Story – The Beginning

Christmas Love from DD Guy As with any Christmas story this one is with a good ending. As with any Christmas story – this one is told around Christmas. And as with any Christmas story – it’s a story about LOVE.

The story I am starting is about a guy and a girl in their early thirties. In fact, she’s just not in her thirties yet. It’s a beautiful summer of 2007 and love, desire and beauty are all in the air.

They both just came out of pointless, tiresome relationships. She was dating some dude from fashion industry who thought the week is a waste if he didn’t sleep with another model or PR girl. He was running away from overweight and overly controlling monster.

They posted their profiles on one of the dating sites. Which one – it’s irrelevant, but it just happened to be the same for both of them. Both had some queue – he had two – three dates per week, she had two-three dates a day. Talk about Sex and the City ūüôā

One day, as he was browsing the profiles he stumbled on a picture of a beautiful girl. Looked like a legit profile, nevertheless the almost-professionally done photos. Who wrote, she responded and in about dozen messages they have exchanged phone numbers.

(To Be Continued)

A Word On Relationships

Since dating season is over, it’s time we shift a bit to the actual relationship advice. What to do when she finds your dirty socks on her dresser? How to act if she’s allergic to your favorite food? Where would her underware end up after rough steamy sex you had last night (hint – check your shoes)?

Today we’ll get to one important aspect that pretty much everyone dismisses. This aspect, however, is one of the major contributors to couples breakups. No, it isn’t the sex position – if you were thinking that. It’s the lack of attention.

Most guys think that once they got themselves a girlfriend, they are all set. They feel they can just sip a beer every night they don’t see their baby, have an hour-long chat over the phone and get it over with. Well, if you don’t need that girl with long black curly hair and size D breasts I’ll be happy to take her off of your hands. And so will a number of other guys.

Dating is not really over when you got that oral mutual exclusivity agreement. More so, now it gets tougher. Before you didn’t have to remember what colors she likes, what flowers she love, when’s her cousin’s birthday and how she likes her eggs or steak. Now it’s all your liability, so to say.

One of the major major mistakes is the guy’s thinking “She must be happy I am with her”. True, she might be, at the beginning. But after first three days that happiness wears out, so you have to be constantly reminding her why she must be happy. NOT because you said so. NOT because you want her to be. But because you make her feel good about herself, you and your relationship. It’s quite easy if you ask me, but most of us fail at this simple task.

I’ll make it even easier for you, guys – PAY ATTENTION. If you don’t want to keep it all in your head – put her and her relatives’ birthdays in your goddamn Blackberry. Make a notes entry under her name in your address book and put it all there – colors, flowers, steak, eggs – everything. This time when you go out with her – just consult your records and you’re good to go: you remembered the right things, she’s happy you remember these things and overall – your relationship is a happy one.

To wrap things up – I had these notes for all the girls I was dating. OnceI settled, I kept making notes about my current girlfriend. She happen to have a glance over my phone where I was reviewing some notes about her. When asked I just showed her my notes and admitted that I am not really good at remembering these things, but she’s important to me and I kept all these small items on file to avoid occasional embarrasment. First couple of seconds she looked puzzled (to me), but it turned out she was overwhelmingly surprised at how much effort I made to keep her happy. No need to say how much better she treated and respected me afterwards.

A Letter From Disgruntled Looker

As you might have already guessed – we get a lot of mail. Not comments (strange), but plenty of e-mails asking, answering and suggesting.

Make no mistake – we read them all.

One e-mail, however, caught our attention – primarily because we share it’s point of view. Both – ladies and men, even some of our friends agreed with it. Yet, somehow, it still seems to be sort of an issue.

The letter talks about guys looking at girls on the street. Not teenagers or toddlers, we talking about a real world adults who look at each other – and get upset when some one looks at them. But let’s see what the actual letter has to say.

From: Disgruntled Looker
To: DontDateGuy
Subject: Why Are They Mad At Me?

First – let me make couple of points about myself. I am good looking, neatly dressed guy, who works in IT. I am not overweight (in fact – I excercise quite regularly), also take shower and brush my teeth at least once a day in the morning. I don’t have anyvisible defects to my face, body or posture. On any day there are hundrends like me on the street – some look better, many look worse, but if you not really paying attention – you probably would not spot me right-on.

That being said – what’s wrong with those ladies on the street? Almost any time they see me looking at them they cringe. If I let out a slight smile – they cringe even more. It’s almost like I am trying to get into their pants without even asking their name – and all I did was looked. What’s wrong with these ladies? I can’t be looking that bad to scare them off!

Aren’t they spend hours putting on make-up and doing their hair? Shopping for the best clothes out there that fit them perfectly? Aren’t they? If so – why do they protest if someone appreciates their efforts if only by looking?

Listen, ladies, let me put it this way. You don’t want to be noticed? You don’t want to be looked at with admiration and adoration? That’s fine with me. Just take off your make up, your lift-up bra, your semi-transparent clothes and your expensive shoes. Put on some dumb dress from “Everythign for $9.99” and some cheap flats. Don’t make an impression. Look average or ugly. Please. I have no problem with that. In fact – I don’t think anyone will have a problem with that.

However, if you made yourself into a queen of fashion or a new shiny star on the block and are walking down the street – don’t think that every penis carrying individual shoud just shut his eyes and pretend you aren’t there. We’re hunters, we notice flashy objects, good looking curves and attractive lines. Sorry, but if you are beautiful (or at least look like you are) – we will notice. We will look.

Or would you rather dress up nice – and no one would notice? Would you really honestly want that?

That’s where the letter ends. Honestly – we don’t know what to make out of it. To quote one of the very beautiful girls I know (and whom I have a chance to see every day): “This guy is damn right – I don’t understand those stupid bitches either. If I go out with my make up on and dressed up and in my shoes – I want men to notice. I want them to salivate every single inch of the way I will be passing them by. Otherwise I won’t feel like a married woman.”

I couldn’t have said it better myself.

What To Do When The Summer Is Over

Fresh Soap - Fresh Start

Summer is over. Get used to it. Good news is that now you have more time to improve your image and assess all the issues you have been pointed to during your dating season.

Now, if you are happily involved with someone you really like (or love) – skip this post. We are going to talk about those who lost (either willingly or not) their involvement but haven’t picked up a new one yet. Coming fall and winter are definitely good times to work your issues out.

With economy slow and money becoming more of an issue it may be a good idea to cut on those beer fests with friends and hit the gym or treadmill at home. It will be less expensive and much more productive. Additionally, while staying fit you also avoid purchasing new sizes of the same clothes, which also is a good idea.

If you have been missing some of old friends – it may be time to reconnect with them. Possibly they picked up an acquiantance or two and there are chances they know somebody who’s just your type. Keep looking, don’t be afraid to ask.

Last, but not least – take couple of fresh pictures of you. There’s nothing worse then starting a new dating season with last year’s pictures. Your ex-dates may not remember what was exactly wrong with the date, but they would recall that this picture is associated with something bad or boring. By getting a fresh picture you’re getting yourself a fresh start.

Summer Is Over

Summer Is Over The summer is over. Now is a the last three weeks when you can still see, almost unobstructively, what you’re getting when you go out on a date.

In just less then a month ladies will start covering themselves in those clothes that hide more than they reveal and that keep you guessing if she’s the right size. It is also going to be less convenient for those romantic walks on the beach or in the parks as colder weather moves in.

So if you’re still searching, now is a good time to wrap up and settle for the cold winter months. Here are some suggestions as to how to do it:

  • Don’t plan long dates at fancy places. Settle for shorter time frames (up to an hour), this may leave room for another date on a same day.
  • Starting doing lunches. I know some girls are too proud to go on a lunch date, but some are not (I have found that those usually have much nicer personality and generally more interesting people). Balance it out.
  • Have a backup plan. The place you’re going to might not appear to be as good when it rains than as when shines. Keep couple of places in mind to be flexible.
  • Movies are good again. It’s not going to be freezing in the theaters anymore.
  • Keep an extra small umbrella. That alone might be a chance for a second date.
  • Now that it isn’t that hot – don’t overdo the cologne or deodorant. Too much smell may be a turn-off.
  • Don’t try to penetrate her clothes with your sight. She’s perfectly aware of where you staring at, so keep yourself within bounds.
  • More clothes – more chances to make a compliment. Use them wisely.

Generally speaking, pretty much any circumstance can be be used for both harm and good. If your aim is to get that girl – make sure you use them for good.

Does This Blackberry Make Me Look Fat?

The correct answer is “no”, of course, but I hope it made you think.

What do you think when you see a girl with a Blackberry, zealously typing away? Do you think she’s just the corporate slave, just like the most of us? But what if she bought this Blackberry on her own, because she wanted to?

What I usually say is “the cure girl with Blackberry has no personal life”. The reason for it is that the Blackberry (or any smart phone for that sense) is somewhat a cumbersome creature in itself. It takes time to figure one out. If the girl’s private life is all set, mostl likely she doesn’t have the time required for that. If you see she’s doing good with her Blackberry – that might be your chance. Don’t miss it.

Hot Weather Dating

Hot Weather Date - DontDateGuy BlogDon’t know about you, but here in NY almost every day it’s around or above 90 degrees. How would you date in this hostile environment, when even air is sweating?

Well, if you accept that you just absolutely HAVE TO abide to certain limitations, then you’re good to go. Just make sure you know what you’re doing. Below is the list of DOs and DON’Ts for hot weather dating.

DO: Shower in warm or cold water before the date. Don’t use extremely hot or extremely cold water though, since your body will be trying to regain temperature balance and produce more heat while at it. More heat means more sweat.

DON’T: Drink sweetened and carbonated beverages. Sweetened beverages, like cola, skew the sugar balance in your body, making you drink more and more. You end up feeling bloated and, again, sweating.

DO: Drink as little as you can. The less you drink, the less sweat your body produces.

DON’T: Stop drinking at all. You need to keep your body hydrated in hot weather, it’s a must! So you have to practice a little by going from larger to smaller amounts of water until you feel that you had enough water not to feel thristy, but you’re not sweating or sweating very little.

DO: Use anti-perspirants, deodorants and other sweating counter-measures.

DON’T: Overuse cologne. Personally I can’t feel smells at all, but my well-placed sources confirm that one thing that’s one thing that is worse then sweaty smelly guy on a date is the guy who hits you with his cologne smell from mile away.

DO: Set up your date as late as you both possibly can. This way you are dating at the lowest outside temperature possible.

DON’T: Set up your date so late that you both are falling asleep. You want to make an impression of an interesting guy, not comfortable pillow. And don’t even get me started if you snore…

DO: Use air conditioner in your car. If it’s broken – fix it.

DON’T: Use mass transit when going on a date. You may feel you’re in rush, the airconditioner may be broken, it could be to hot or too cold in the bus or on the train. If there is no alternative – get to the place at least 20 – 30 minutes ahead of time, bring some large wet napkins and dry paper towels and use them.

DO: Calm down before the date. If you get too anxious you may start sweating again.

DON’T: Bring your sweating or smell up in the conversation. If you feel that you’ve reached an unacceptable level of sweating – excuse yourself to the restroom and wipe whatever body parts you can with cold wet and then dry towels. This will both remove sweat and cool down your skin.

Of course, these DOs and DON’Ts don’t apply for everyone, your case could be significantly different. However, most of us could save a trouble by following this simple dating advice.

One more word for guys with little extra padding around the body. Sorry folks, I’ve been like that for quite some time, so I know what it feels like. Aside from the advice to hit the gym in the fall (we’ll get to that in this blog soon) I can only suggest you limit your activities in the open air to as small as possible. My course of action was as follows:

  • take a mildly warm shower, cool down after it
  • walk to the car, pump the AC, cool down
  • wipe arms, neck and shoulders with dry paper towels
  • drive to date’s place, pick her up, get her to the place
  • park as close to the place as possible or submit to valet parking’s mercy (both looking for parking and valet are known problems in NY)
  • get into the place that is well airconditioned
  • drink very little water
  • order very easy and light food – seafood or chicken, eat vegetables instead of drinking
  • avoid spicy food and heavy drinks like beer
  • by the end of the meal (usually before the desert) excuse myself to the men’s room, wipe sweat if there’s any, cool down the skin, maybe wash the face with cold water
  • drive date back home as close to the entrance as possible
  • try not to get out of the car unless absolutely neccessary

Keep in mind that your health is much more important then any kind of date, so if you feel that no matter what you do you will feel overheated – just postpone your dating efforts until it cools off outside.

What’s With The Car, Dude?

Girl and the Car The previous post (Dating in Pictures) has generated the feedback that wasn’t quite expected. As you can see there are little comments there, but boy, you had to see those e-mails!

Generally I can’t judge your photos, since I am a guy and the picture of you without your shirt can generate interest only if you’re a woman with at least D-size breasts. Otherwise – I have no idea how attractive you look. On the other hand, if you look dumb – showing off that size 56 belly – I’ll be sure to let you know.

A lot of people missed a very important point of the previous post – DON’T MAKE PICTURES WITH YOU AND YOUR CAR. 90% of women will consider you either an asshole or an easy money. Either way you loose. Remember – girl look good with the car, guys look good with girls. Don’t confuse yourself there.

Read Between The Lines, Write Between The Lines

Read between the lines of dating profileThere were numbers of times when myself or my friends got puzzled by what’s written in the dating profile. There were, also, times, when we were confused as to what to write in our profiles. As you may have already guessed by now, the puzzlement by readers is caused by the puzzlement by writers.

Let’s just assume for a moment that you have¬†a¬†dating profile that lists your goals as “Friendship, Casual Dating, ¬†Serious Relationship, Marriage and Kids and No Strings Relationship”. Just by expanding your visibility¬†to all the areas of search (that’s why those¬†categories are there in¬†the first place) you have successfully eliminated¬†any¬†ability of your prospective date to see your actual goals. Is she’s looking for serious relationship – you have already scared her away with¬†casual¬†dating and no strings¬†relationship. If that’s exactly what she’s looking for you turn her down¬†by wanting marriage and kids. We¬†can argue that with the right person everything is possible,¬†but unless you’re Brad Pitt (i.e. cute and rich)¬†– I doubt any girl will¬†fall for that.

Now is the¬†tricky part. What do you¬†really¬†want to put¬†there? Whatever you think is right. Don’t waste your time on one-timers and gold-diggers if your goal is marriage, keep looking for that one¬†and the only. If you are looking for¬†casual encounters¬†– leave those¬†mom-wannabes alone.

If you are¬†like me, and keep hanging somewhere¬†in between – there’s hope for you too. Try¬†to keep two profiles. Just¬†make sure you are not using¬†same or similar photos in them, this way you’ll keep away¬†from those angry messages about being¬†double-faced lying¬†bastard.