A Word On Relationships

Since dating season is over, it’s time we shift a bit to the actual relationship advice. What to do when she finds your dirty socks on her dresser? How to act if she’s allergic to your favorite food? Where would her underware end up after rough steamy sex you had last night (hint – check your shoes)?

Today we’ll get to one important aspect that pretty much everyone dismisses. This aspect, however, is one of the major contributors to couples breakups. No, it isn’t the sex position – if you were thinking that. It’s the lack of attention.

Most guys think that once they got themselves a girlfriend, they are all set. They feel they can just sip a beer every night they don’t see their baby, have an hour-long chat over the phone and get it over with. Well, if you don’t need that girl with long black curly hair and size D breasts I’ll be happy to take her off of your hands. And so will a number of other guys.

Dating is not really over when you got that oral mutual exclusivity agreement. More so, now it gets tougher. Before you didn’t have to remember what colors she likes, what flowers she love, when’s her cousin’s birthday and how she likes her eggs or steak. Now it’s all your liability, so to say.

One of the major major mistakes is the guy’s thinking “She must be happy I am with her”. True, she might be, at the beginning. But after first three days that happiness wears out, so you have to be constantly reminding her why she must be happy. NOT because you said so. NOT because you want her to be. But because you make her feel good about herself, you and your relationship. It’s quite easy if you ask me, but most of us fail at this simple task.

I’ll make it even easier for you, guys – PAY ATTENTION. If you don’t want to keep it all in your head – put her and her relatives’ birthdays in your goddamn Blackberry. Make a notes entry under her name in your address book and put it all there – colors, flowers, steak, eggs – everything. This time when you go out with her – just consult your records and you’re good to go: you remembered the right things, she’s happy you remember these things and overall – your relationship is a happy one.

To wrap things up – I had these notes for all the girls I was dating. OnceI settled, I kept making notes about my current girlfriend. She happen to have a glance over my phone where I was reviewing some notes about her. When asked I just showed her my notes and admitted that I am not really good at remembering these things, but she’s important to me and I kept all these small items on file to avoid occasional embarrasment. First couple of seconds she looked puzzled (to me), but it turned out she was overwhelmingly surprised at how much effort I made to keep her happy. No need to say how much better she treated and respected me afterwards.

A Letter From Disgruntled Looker

As you might have already guessed – we get a lot of mail. Not comments (strange), but plenty of e-mails asking, answering and suggesting.

Make no mistake – we read them all.

One e-mail, however, caught our attention – primarily because we share it’s point of view. Both – ladies and men, even some of our friends agreed with it. Yet, somehow, it still seems to be sort of an issue.

The letter talks about guys looking at girls on the street. Not teenagers or toddlers, we talking about a real world adults who look at each other – and get upset when some one looks at them. But let’s see what the actual letter has to say.

From: Disgruntled Looker
To: DontDateGuy
Subject: Why Are They Mad At Me?

First – let me make couple of points about myself. I am good looking, neatly dressed guy, who works in IT. I am not overweight (in fact – I excercise quite regularly), also take shower and brush my teeth at least once a day in the morning. I don’t have anyvisible defects to my face, body or posture. On any day there are hundrends like me on the street – some look better, many look worse, but if you not really paying attention – you probably would not spot me right-on.

That being said – what’s wrong with those ladies on the street? Almost any time they see me looking at them they cringe. If I let out a slight smile – they cringe even more. It’s almost like I am trying to get into their pants without even asking their name – and all I did was looked. What’s wrong with these ladies? I can’t be looking that bad to scare them off!

Aren’t they spend hours putting on make-up and doing their hair? Shopping for the best clothes out there that fit them perfectly? Aren’t they? If so – why do they protest if someone appreciates their efforts if only by looking?

Listen, ladies, let me put it this way. You don’t want to be noticed? You don’t want to be looked at with admiration and adoration? That’s fine with me. Just take off your make up, your lift-up bra, your semi-transparent clothes and your expensive shoes. Put on some dumb dress from “Everythign for $9.99” and some cheap flats. Don’t make an impression. Look average or ugly. Please. I have no problem with that. In fact – I don’t think anyone will have a problem with that.

However, if you made yourself into a queen of fashion or a new shiny star on the block and are walking down the street – don’t think that every penis carrying individual shoud just shut his eyes and pretend you aren’t there. We’re hunters, we notice flashy objects, good looking curves and attractive lines. Sorry, but if you are beautiful (or at least look like you are) – we will notice. We will look.

Or would you rather dress up nice – and no one would notice? Would you really honestly want that?

That’s where the letter ends. Honestly – we don’t know what to make out of it. To quote one of the very beautiful girls I know (and whom I have a chance to see every day): “This guy is damn right – I don’t understand those stupid bitches either. If I go out with my make up on and dressed up and in my shoes – I want men to notice. I want them to salivate every single inch of the way I will be passing them by. Otherwise I won’t feel like a married woman.”

I couldn’t have said it better myself.